Wednesday, March 11, 2009

Things that need to be retired in the '09

The New York Post
dudes that wear their pants hanging off their asses, with a belt.
celebrities who think they're bigger than Jesus once they get famous, hey Kanye..
chicks who piggyback off their famous friends for fifteen seconds of fame
girls who wear their jeans too low, every time they turn around, you see plumber's crack...
children with a mouth full of teeth, walking, talking, with pacifiers in their mouths
all the tacky bootleg Obama merchandise, yes we can and we did, but damn enough is enough
speed dating
taking a dude back after he kicks your ass, hello, Rihanna!
women beating dudes with their shoes, if it gets that serious, hit him upside the head with a hot frying pan.
people who wear huge bags on crowded trains
actors who aren't white getting Oscars every couple of decades.
reality shows where delusional desperate women compete for a man ex: the Bachelor, for the love of Ray J, etc.
Supernanny, we need some Supergrannies in this piece
swagger
rappers who wanna be rock stars, rock stars who wanna be rappers, pick a lane and stay there, dammit
Zahara Jolie's lack of hairdos, make friends with a black person already!
Dancing with the Stars
celebrities that wanna act like they're still in the hood, screw up, when they're faced with hard time, suddenly get a show to redeem themselves
Mo'nique taking pictures with those Sasquatch legs, you got money booboo get some Nair in your life.
songs about getting drunk in the club
ghetto fabulous urban fiction
The Biggest Loser, I watch it while eating a cheeseburger.
Those "feminine hygiene" commercials

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